“…If you take away the yoke from your
midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour
yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the
desire of the afflicted,
then shall your
light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as
the noonday. And the Lord will
guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong…” -Isaiah 58:11
The past few months have been very
challenging and non-stop, thus the delay in updating my blog. So many changes have taken place that
I’m not really sure where to start, but I’ll try to give an overall update the
best I can, without writing a book.
Ever since we officially opened the
orphanage doors in early December, I’ve come to a better understanding of what
it means to spend myself for God.
All through college I remember reading Isaiah 58 and getting so pumped,
longing for the chance I would have to do just that- “pour myself” for Him in a
very radical way. Although now I’m
happy to finally be living out this desire God put on my heart years ago, I can
honestly say it’s harder than I could have imagined.
Living in the orphanage as it’s just
getting up and running presents new challenges every single day. It’s not really the life I pictured
when I thought of working with orphans.
I know I used to imagine I would spend my life here sitting outside
under a palm tree with one or two kids at a time, just loving on them and
reading them Bible stories. I
remember professing to people that I knew it would be hard… but I guess I never
really believed it. Living in an
orphanage 24/7 with children who have countless deep, emotional wounds brings
me to a state of hurt and frustration almost daily. They have hurt so much more deeply than I can comprehend….
or fix. They have frustrations and
disappointments as they try to catch up to their classmates who are 2 or 3
years ahead of them in school. They have pain as they see "normal" families pass them in public, and wonder why they don't have the same thing. They need more love, encouragement, attention, and patience than I can
provide each of them every day.
Ultimately, I always arrive at the
conclusion that my efforts alone are insufficient…. But thanks to God, Christ’s
love and strength through us is proving to be enough.
I sometimes hesitate to share things like
this because when I reflect too much on the challenges it never does anything
healthy for my mind or heart, unless I quickly turn it over to show just how
good our God is through it all. As
Paul says, it’s good to boast in our weaknesses and hardships, just to
highlight and rest in the grace and endurance that Jesus will provide (2
Corinthians 12:9-10). And that’s
what I love, truly love, about being here. I can’t be everything that these kids need…. But God using
our team and God allowing His love to arrive faithfully is a new miracle each
and every day.
He provides us with strength to keep going,
to keep pouring… Sometimes it’s huge and overwhelming, and other times it’s
just enough strength to keep from fainting (Isaiah 57:10). But it’s there, it’s true, and it’s
enough. God will always prove to
be more than enough!! He will
never fail to sustain us. I guess
that’s why I love watching our kids grow in their relationship with God… it validates
why we are here. Listening to
their prayers before bed every night reminds me that even if I burned the
chicken for dinner that night or failed to get them ready for school on time
that day, their love for Jesus is still growing… and nothing is more important.
Now, as for more of the details of things
that have been happening in the past few months… well, we still have not
successfully released our containers from customs in Guayaquil (southern
Ecuador). Our two 40-foot
containers, full of countless items to bless the children and community here, have
been bound in customs since October due to too many complications to mention. Although it’s frustrating to think of
the injustice of this situation, I still believe that God has His hand over the
issue and we trust, we believe, and we know, that in His perfect timing the
containers will be released and funds will be provided to cover the
continuously increasing custom’s fees.
God is always more than enough.
We’ve also recently learned a lot more
about the adoption processes here in Ecuador, and why only 7 children were
adopted out to the US last year: it’s incredibly, incredibly difficult. With such laws, including that a child
must be over 5 years old, a child must have no living relatives (including very
distant family), etc., we know we have a long battle ahead of us. There are very few “successful”
orphanages in Ecuador that have accomplished adopting children out. Most of the services here are better
described as “institutions” that will keep children and raise them until they
are 18, then let them figure their lives out from there. Although we will agree that an
institution-type atmosphere may be better than growing up with extremely
abusive parents or no parents at all, we always look back to God’s design of a family. It’s not healthy for children to lack
adoration and the one-on-one attention that can only come from parents… we know
an orphanage or intitution just can’t replace a real home. Therefore, we will press on in the
fight to break through some of these challenges. I have faith that our God called us here and He will take
care of these things as they directly affect our ministry. I don’t know what He has planned, but
we have faith.
Another opportunity we’ve recently had was
to go a few hours into the jungle to begin to film a short video to raise
awareness of the needs of this area.
Traveling by car, canoe, and foot, we arrived at a small Kichuwa
community only to have hearts changed forever. Personally, I’ve seen communities with little food/water and
few material items (clothing, houses, etc) in numerous countries, but something
different finally clicked.
How could I have lived my life in the past
so oblivious to such real needs millions of people face every day? I’m not ashamed to be from a 1st world
country, because that’s where God placed me, but I am glad He has brought such
reality to light so I can have a different perspective on how I wish to live
the rest of my life.
I came out of the jungle
with one question that still won’t leave my head…. What did I do differently to
be born into an amazing family where I was provided ample food, clean water,
health, and love? I keep arriving
at the same conclusion- I did nothing.
Blessings aren’t wrong, in fact they are beautiful gifts from God. But now I am challenged with the
decision… as a steward of God’s blessings and love, what will I do with
them? Will I chose to pass them
along or hoard them to myself, letting pride deceive me into thinking I did
something to deserve such a lifestyle?...... (Luke 12:13-21). All that said, I long for the opportunity to return to the jungle very soon.
Anyway, that’s just a brief overview of
what has been going on here. There
are many examples in the Bible where God’s people didn’t actively see the hand
of God day by day, but still continued in the faith. I find myself thinking of Noah often… he faced many challenges
while building the ark as years went by with no sign of rain. I wonder what went through his head as
He walked by faith and not by sight.
Sometimes I feel like I can relate to Noah…. I don’t know when our
containers will arrive. I don’t
know what will happen to the kids in our care in regards to adoption. But I do know God and He is greater and
stronger than any law or authority.
Thank you for your prayers for what God is
doing in Tena, Ecuador. This city
is His.
Tanya
“He who sent me is true, and I declare to the world what I
have heard from Him.” –Jesus (John
8:26)
