Isaiah 58

“…If you take away the yoke from your midst, the pointing of the finger, and speaking wickedness, if you pour yourself out for the hungry
and satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
then shall your light rise in the darkness
and your gloom be as the noonday.  And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places
and make your bones strong…”  -Isaiah 58:11

The past few months have been very challenging and non-stop, thus the delay in updating my blog.  So many changes have taken place that I’m not really sure where to start, but I’ll try to give an overall update the best I can, without writing a book.

Ever since we officially opened the orphanage doors in early December, I’ve come to a better understanding of what it means to spend myself for God.  All through college I remember reading Isaiah 58 and getting so pumped, longing for the chance I would have to do just that- “pour myself” for Him in a very radical way.  Although now I’m happy to finally be living out this desire God put on my heart years ago, I can honestly say it’s harder than I could have imagined.

Living in the orphanage as it’s just getting up and running presents new challenges every single day.  It’s not really the life I pictured when I thought of working with orphans.  I know I used to imagine I would spend my life here sitting outside under a palm tree with one or two kids at a time, just loving on them and reading them Bible stories.  I remember professing to people that I knew it would be hard… but I guess I never really believed it.  Living in an orphanage 24/7 with children who have countless deep, emotional wounds brings me to a state of hurt and frustration almost daily.  They have hurt so much more deeply than I can comprehend…. or fix.  They have frustrations and disappointments as they try to catch up to their classmates who are 2 or 3 years ahead of them in school.  They have pain as they see "normal" families pass them in public, and wonder why they don't have the same thing.  They need more love, encouragement, attention, and patience than I can provide each of them every day.

Ultimately, I always arrive at the conclusion that my efforts alone are insufficient…. But thanks to God, Christ’s love and strength through us is proving to be enough.

I sometimes hesitate to share things like this because when I reflect too much on the challenges it never does anything healthy for my mind or heart, unless I quickly turn it over to show just how good our God is through it all.  As Paul says, it’s good to boast in our weaknesses and hardships, just to highlight and rest in the grace and endurance that Jesus will provide (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).  And that’s what I love, truly love, about being here.  I can’t be everything that these kids need…. But God using our team and God allowing His love to arrive faithfully is a new miracle each and every day.

He provides us with strength to keep going, to keep pouring… Sometimes it’s huge and overwhelming, and other times it’s just enough strength to keep from fainting (Isaiah 57:10).  But it’s there, it’s true, and it’s enough.  God will always prove to be more than enough!!  He will never fail to sustain us.  I guess that’s why I love watching our kids grow in their relationship with God… it validates why we are here.  Listening to their prayers before bed every night reminds me that even if I burned the chicken for dinner that night or failed to get them ready for school on time that day, their love for Jesus is still growing… and nothing is more important.

Now, as for more of the details of things that have been happening in the past few months… well, we still have not successfully released our containers from customs in Guayaquil (southern Ecuador).  Our two 40-foot containers, full of countless items to bless the children and community here, have been bound in customs since October due to too many complications to mention.  Although it’s frustrating to think of the injustice of this situation, I still believe that God has His hand over the issue and we trust, we believe, and we know, that in His perfect timing the containers will be released and funds will be provided to cover the continuously increasing custom’s fees.  God is always more than enough.

We’ve also recently learned a lot more about the adoption processes here in Ecuador, and why only 7 children were adopted out to the US last year: it’s incredibly, incredibly difficult.  With such laws, including that a child must be over 5 years old, a child must have no living relatives (including very distant family), etc., we know we have a long battle ahead of us.  There are very few “successful” orphanages in Ecuador that have accomplished adopting children out.  Most of the services here are better described as “institutions” that will keep children and raise them until they are 18, then let them figure their lives out from there.  Although we will agree that an institution-type atmosphere may be better than growing up with extremely abusive parents or no parents at all, we always look back to God’s design of a family.  It’s not healthy for children to lack adoration and the one-on-one attention that can only come from parents… we know an orphanage or intitution just can’t replace a real home.  Therefore, we will press on in the fight to break through some of these challenges.  I have faith that our God called us here and He will take care of these things as they directly affect our ministry.  I don’t know what He has planned, but we have faith.

Another opportunity we’ve recently had was to go a few hours into the jungle to begin to film a short video to raise awareness of the needs of this area.  Traveling by car, canoe, and foot, we arrived at a small Kichuwa community only to have hearts changed forever.  Personally, I’ve seen communities with little food/water and few material items (clothing, houses, etc) in numerous countries, but something different finally clicked.

How could I have lived my life in the past so oblivious to such real needs millions of people face every day?  I’m not ashamed to be from a 1st world country, because that’s where God placed me, but I am glad He has brought such reality to light so I can have a different perspective on how I wish to live the rest of my life.

I came out of the jungle with one question that still won’t leave my head…. What did I do differently to be born into an amazing family where I was provided ample food, clean water, health, and love?  I keep arriving at the same conclusion- I did nothing.  Blessings aren’t wrong, in fact they are beautiful gifts from God.  But now I am challenged with the decision… as a steward of God’s blessings and love, what will I do with them?  Will I chose to pass them along or hoard them to myself, letting pride deceive me into thinking I did something to deserve such a lifestyle?...... (Luke 12:13-21).  All that said, I long for the opportunity to return to the jungle very soon.

Anyway, that’s just a brief overview of what has been going on here.  There are many examples in the Bible where God’s people didn’t actively see the hand of God day by day, but still continued in the faith.  I find myself thinking of Noah often… he faced many challenges while building the ark as years went by with no sign of rain.  I wonder what went through his head as He walked by faith and not by sight.  Sometimes I feel like I can relate to Noah…. I don’t know when our containers will arrive.  I don’t know what will happen to the kids in our care in regards to adoption.  But I do know God and He is greater and stronger than any law or authority.

Thank you for your prayers for what God is doing in Tena, Ecuador.  This city is His.

Tanya

 “He who sent me is true, and I declare to the world what I have heard from Him.”  –Jesus (John 8:26)

All in His beautiful timing

October has been such an interesting and challenging month.  Challenging is always good, though, as God persistently makes us trust in Him.  As in Psalm 46:10, I’ve been learning everyday to “be still” and know that He is Lord… He is over all.

We must wait for God’s perfect timing.  Even though we had planned to have the orphanage up a few weeks ago, certain obstacles have kept us from that plan.  But that’s also what is awesome… that nothing has happened outside of God’s will!  He spoke to me really clearly that I am not in Ecuador to help people or point others to Him… but rather, to do His will.  And through His will He takes care of the rest.  So in this, we wait for Him to "make everything beautiful in its time" (Ecc 3:11).  It’s His time. 

That said, things are finally coming together as Kayla and I moved into the orphanage this week!  In God’s time, hopefully in the next few weeks, we’ll have our kids moved out here and be ready to take in more.   This week was another reminder of why we’re ready for more children as we ran into one of the mothers of 2 kids who were once in our care, Christian and Anna.  She told us she doesn’t want her kids anymore…. Again.  And long story short, she doesn’t need to have them under her supervision.  So for these kids, along with Noah and Juanito (whose cases are hopefully coming to a close soon), our hearts are expectant for God to bring hope into their lives, whether that means through our ministry or another way.

Yet, even as we wait for God’s perfect timing, many things are still charging at us, keeping us busy beyond belief.   Last month our temporary visas were to expire before we could obtain our missionary visas (due to foundation document problems).  As we did all we could, it came to be the time that the first group of us would become illegal.  Well, on the VERY day, we were all granted an extension for a few more weeks in order to get it all sorted out.  And since then we’ve been able to officially apply… so this was a great reminder of God’s timing!

We also are in the final days of waiting for our two 40-foot containers to arrive in Tena (they are in customs on the coast of Ecuador now)!!  Karissa and volunteers in Florida worked incredibly hard 3 weeks ago to pack up everything possible to bring to our orphanage… everything from cribs to weed-wackers, diapers to random kitchen utensils, it seems that the answer to every request we have is to wait because “we have one coming on the container” haha.  And what a blessing that the mayor of Tena has offered to help cover the expenses of bringing all this here!  Although we’re currently working with the national government to help us concerning a new law passed 2 weeks ago, stating no clothing items are allowed to be imported to Ecuador (and remembering ¼ of our container contents are clothes!!), we’re trusting God to help us get past this obstacle…. Among many others!

So that’s just a little summary of what’s going on.  Kayla and I are so honored to finally be living in the orphanage!  Although there’s a lot of cleaning and organizing to do (and although Kayla kindly informed me 3 days after we moved in that I had not be using the water filtration system correctly, and therefore drinking lots of very dirty water… woops), there is such a peace and hope for this place!  Wow, I can’t describe it.  But I’m in love and elated to be a small part in what God will do next.  Please keep praying for Noah, Juanito, Christian and Anna as I believe the Lord will bring them back to us as His timing is beautiful.

Dios te bendiga!  Hasta pronto,

Tanya

Almost there...!!

For the last few weeks we have all been working very hard on finishing documents and working on the orphanage, striving to reach our goal of having the building up in about 10 days.  From building doors to landscaping, and painting walls to building gazebos, things are finally coming together.  Although we have many more days of hard work ahead, our work load will be lightened this week as we welcome a World Challenge group from Sydney, Australia, whom I’m sure will be such a huge blessing to our ministry.

It’s also a blessing to welcome Kayla, the most recent long-term volunteer for our team.  She arrived 2 weeks ago and already has been so wonderful to have here!  Not only will she be a huge help for the ministry, but I’m personally thankful to have another friend my age to pursue God’s purpose for this city.

As far as Noah and Juanito go, their cases are still “being processed” by the social workers.  Last we heard of Noah is that he is now under the care of the grandparents on his father’s side.  As we’ve said in the past, we continue to pray for God’s will to be done with these children.  And as in the parable of the persistent widow (Luke 18:1-8), we don’t plan on giving up.

And finally, I’m so thankful that a few of us found time to sneak away for a day and take a rafting trip with some local friends here.  Since Tena is a whitewater rafting capital of the world (where Ecuador has more rivers per square kilometer than any other country), it seemed appropriate  :)  It was so good to see the Amazon from a different perspective, and just sit back and admire this incredible country…

Thanks for all your prayers, you all are such a blessing!!

“When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him?”  Psalm 8:3-4

Tanya

Prayers for Noah

This week I got a little taste of how hard this is going to be, the real challenges.  Not the menial stuff I’ve talked about in the past, like food poisoning or nasty bugs, but the real pain that comes with fighting for justice in this broken world.

Most of you probably heard through my facebook about the newborn baby brought to us last Wednesday, sweet Noah.  His 18-year old mother brought him to us after she was raped and refused to have an abortion, causing her parents to disown her.  The mother had absolutely no way to care for the child as she could hardly care for herself, in addition to their being “problems at home”(aka abuse) … so after talking and praying with her she was certain this was best for the child.  Although our orphanage is still being prepared, we saw the mother’s desperation and great need, allowed her to sign the child over, and lovingly embraced the precious boy.

For 5 days we cared for Noah, and despite sleepless nights from having a 10-day old child, fell in love with him.  Maybe it was my fault for letting myself become so attached to him, though I don’t regret it.  I desire to care for each child as my own, even if it (selfishly) hurts me to eventually see them adopted into a great family (obviously what is best for the child).

Precious Noah (11 days old)

Well on Sunday afternoon we got a knock on our door- the mother was back.  She was flustered and wanted her child.  As we sat and talked about how it was a normal response to miss her baby, she needed to remember why she brought him to us in the first place.  Nothing had changed in her situation.  Well about 15 minutes into our conversation, the police showed up.  The mother ran in fear into one of the back rooms and begged us not to tell them she was here.  We were confused, we didn’t know who called the police. 

We spoke with the police and we learned the biological father’s parents- remember the father raped her- filed a missing child report and their investigation led them to our home.  We learned the other man with the police, the mother’s boyfriend, has been abusing the mother.  No wonder the mother was terrified- absolutely terrified as she cried and begged us not to let anyone know she was here. 

After calming her down, we had to allow 1 of 4 police officers to come in and talk.  The officer demanded we release the baby to the mother, and then the mother, baby, boyfriend, and police would go to the biological father’s parents house to stay until things were sorted out!!!  I could hardly believe what we were hearing.  So we did what we had to in that moment.  The police couldn’t care less regarding the paperwork the mother signed about granting us full custody of her child (which our attorney previously told us would be sufficient).

All the locals that know the system here keep saying “you don’t want to get involved in this, it’s a really messy situation.”  But that’s why we’re here.  God has called us to fight for the justice of the oppressed here in Tena, so that’s what we will do.  We went back to the government office Monday and were told there is nothing we can do about this case… but little do they realize how big our God is.

Although this one situation hurts me beyond words, it also fires me up.  I’m reminded this is a fight.  And the fight isn’t against social workers or government systems, but against those powers binding people into chains (Ephesians 6:12), causing women to be blind to their self-worth, causing men to crave power over women to the point where they go to abusive processes to “prove” their dominance, and causing defenseless children to be victims of their broken homes.

Anyway, I say all that to ask for your prayers for this situation.  We want what is best for everyone, especially Noah and his mother.  My fear is that they are back in an abusive home with minimal food/nutrition/clothing/etc.

And we ask for prayers beyond this case, that we would start to understand how we can gain custody of children from the moment they are brought to us.  We take our role seriously and are not merely “babysitters” for children until the police force us to return children to their disgusting and heartbreaking circumstances.  God has called us to “seek justice, encourage the oppressed.  Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow…” (Isaiah 1:17).

And finally, just an update on Juanito- we are still praying and believing for him, too.  Since my last blog we have made a surprise visit to his home to check on him.  He seemed to be ok although we are still very concerned for his safety.  With the exception of the drunk uncle that kept insisting I was a doctor (which did add some humor to the tense situation), the family was not overjoyed to see us and once again, we left empty handed.  We will visit them again soon to bring more food and check on Juanito.

God bless for now!  Dios te bendiga,

Tanya

Adventura en la selva

Well the challenges keep arising!!  Between daily internet/water/electricity outages, seriously huge hairy spiders, eating guinea pig (cuy) for dinner, and challenges of kids just being kids (hospital trips for puncturing each other’s ears with toothpicks)… I’m learning to just go with the flow.  But we definitely have a lot of fun too :) Whether it’s a trip to the park or down to the river to play with the monkeys, I’m constantly amazed at this beautiful country.

Everyday here is a new adventure, but last Thursday was one in particular.  Earlier in the week we got a call saying the mother of the children in our care just gave birth to a little boy.  Although the natural reaction of our kids (especially the older ones) was excitement for their new sibling, it was hard to feel the same enthusiasm.  Don’t get me wrong- I fully believe all children are a part of God’s plan, but as I mentioned in my last post, this mother has no business having any children under her supervision.  Although the social worker assigned to this case thinks otherwise, I believe a parent with a history of severely, severely abusing children should not be allowed to care for another child.

On Thursday we decided to take our children to go visit their mother and see the new baby.  After getting lost in a very rural area of the Amazon, we walked barefoot up a muddy jungle path, in the pouring rain (with kids in our arms) to finally arrive at the house.  Since I had just spent a week in a Belizean village with no running water or electricity, I didn’t feel too out of place… until an indigenous Kituwah Indian appeared with a machete in one hand and a shot gun in the other.  It was sad to watch the kids react in fear, not due to the gun or machete, but rather because it was another person who had taken part in their abusive past, their grandfather.

Upon entering the house we found the mother in a side room with the sweet child in a hammock.  With nothing more than a dazed half smile on her face, she greeted her children whom she hadn’t seen in 9 months.  My heart broke for our kids as they were dealing with a whole range of emotions... I can only imagine what that felt like. 

We then inquired about the baby so she unwrapped him enough for us to see his frail body.  Since she gave birth to him in that house we were the first to see this baby and take note of his health.  Disagreeing with the social worker again, we believe this child is in a very unhealthy state, physically, in addition to the immediate danger of living with his own mother.

We are really praying and believing for this child to come live in our care.  We know this mother has had many children go “missing” in the past and we ask that you join us in prayer that this sweet baby isn’t the next.

We’ll be speaking with the social worker this week more about this case so I’ll try to update again soon.

I also want to mention that thanks to a group of 13 here from the UK, lots of work is being done at the orphanage this week.  We hope to have the official government documents back in 2 weeks which will allow us to open the orphanage. 

We’re thankful for progress!!

Dios te bendiga // God Bless,

Tanya

 

First week in Tena

It’s been a crazy start to my time here in Ecuador!!  There’s so much to do that I can see why God has led me here.  And I’m so thankful for that.

Currently, we have 5 children in our care (all of whom are siblings) and plan to take in ~45 more children as we finish up the orphanage in 2-3 months.  Although I’ve only been here a short time, these kids are already dear to me.  Between listening to them pray before meals or receiving big hugs and kisses as they go to bed, I’m already in love. 

Although adjusting to Ecuador is also proving to have its challenges (my stomach is still losing the battle against authentic Ecuadorean cuisine haha), I’m glad I’m here. This week I learned that the mother of these children tried to blind and suffocate one of the girls many times. Her siblings were also extremely malnourished, packed full of parasites, and abused in a variety of ways.  I hate remembering that the sweet kids I now hold in my arms are the same ones who went through such horrific circumstances… but it reminds me as to why we’re here! God is so good for giving me this opportunity and I can honestly say there is nowhere I’d rather be.

I’m currently living in a lovely little apartment with the two boys, José and Tito.  Although my Spanish is still improving, we do our best to communicate (they don’t speak any English).  They recently discovered music on my computer in addition to the “photo booth” camera, so I’m sure we will keep each other entertained for quite some time.  Watching these precious Ecuadorian boys dance in their PJs to the Lion King soundtrack will never get old!!
Please keep praying for the children and that our team can accomplish everything quickly to have the orphanage open as soon as possible… the need is too great to waste any time.

Te mando amor de Ecuador,

Tanya

**To stay updated with the orphanage, “like” our facebook page: www.facebook.com/blessanorphan.  For ways to help the orphanage and the children here, you can visit www.blessanorphan.com or contact me at tanyalayman@gmail.com 

Some photos of the orphanage... still a lot of work to be done!!

The fish room... definitely my favorite  :)

The city of Tena

The start of something beautiful (a little background)

I distinctly remember in 11^th grade, age 17, standing in front of my friends and declaring I would never help a homeless person because it was “their fault” that they were in that situation.  I recall acknowledging the need of the “less fortunate” of the world, yet feeling no desire whatsoever to be part of the solution.  So how do I find myself now committing to serving 1 year (at least) at an orphanage…?

God changed my heart. 

In His great love and grace He has removed my “heart of stone” and replaced it with a pliable, teachable heart (Ezekiel 36:26) to begin to see people as He sees and love as He loves.  He brought me to the realization that His love for us goes beyond circumstance, ethnicity, social class or age, and that there is nothing we could ever do to earn His love.  Love is His nature, not a response to what we have or haven't done.  And that is the wonder of His unbroken grace.

For the last 2 years God had been placing the desire on my heart to serve at an orphanage, however I’d just dismissed it as a phase.  Yet as of March 2012, God made it clear that this was not just a phase but rather direction serve Him in Ecuador.  As I literally searched Google for orphanages in Ecuador, His peace fell as I came across an incredible opportunity to serve at the launching of an orphanage in the Amazon Rainforest of Tena, Ecuador, through the Bless An Orphan ministry.

Bless An Orphan is an organization started by founders Marshal and Karissa Washburn, that is preparing to take in ~50 orphans when the doors open this August (2012).  With thousands of orphans abandoned on the street or in terribly abusive situations, this is the first area our ministry will address.  We seriously acknowledge that although we can attempt to meet physical needs, if God’s power isn’t at the center of this ministry, we are simply placing a band-aid on an infectious wound.  Our goal is to share the life-changing message of Jesus Christ with this community, so God can provide the only true restoration that is desperately needed.  Just as Jesus is the only hope for myself, He is the only hope for Tena.

Additionally, with great excitement, we anticipate the grand vision of Bless An Orphan to exceed the orphanage.  Since woman abuse is another prominent problem in Tena, we pray to establish a woman and teenage pregnancy shelter shortly after we arrive in Ecuador.  Furthermore, God has placed big desires in our hearts to see this ministry eventually involve a church, widow’s relief center, school, medical clinic and birthing center, and a farm to provide self-sustaining resources. 

Although we are starting as a small team, we come to Ecuador with limitless dreams and an even bigger God.  We know God will use the little we can offer to make His name huge in Ecuador… and we stand in confidence, because “if God is for us, who can be against us?” (Romans 8:31).